Just A Little Humor  

Double click on a name to open the file.

Vets BS Filter Buffalo Theory PICTURES Football 1 Blonde Moment
New Present Redneck Letter Secure From Cruise Screen Cleaner  
Overshot Runway Parking Brake Thin Ice Old Kids Test Old Fashioned Peace
       
Monkey & Mirror Knockout! VIDEOS #1 Bowler 4x4 Hill Climb
Too Close Pool Shot Bar Phone Call Tiger Woods 1 Tiger Woods 2
    Stan Boreson    
    POWER POINT SHOWS    
Schnitzel Workplace Dangers ICU Why I Got Fired Safety Awards 05

Notice:  Some movies may not play on your machine.  Sorry!   The Power Point shows make take a few seconds to load.

***************************************************************

Have you noticed that your computer monitor, after a few years of use is not as clear as it was when new?  Well, that's because electrostatic charges cause micro-etching on the interior surface of the glass which can degrade the picture quality.  As a result you end up straining your vision and visual acuity can suffer.. BUT...   GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Thanks to MICROSOFT this process is REVERSIBLE thanks to a brand new JUST INTRODUCED PROGRAM that "cleans" the inside of the screen!!!!!!   The process takes LESS THAN 30 SECONDS, and the difference is IMMEDIATELY NOTICEABLE!!!!!


Just Scroll down and let this program do the work.

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

 

 

A TEST FOR OLD KIDS

This is a test for the old kids! The answers are printed below, but don't you cheat.

01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, “Who was that masked man?” Invariably, someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind. What did he leave behind?________________.

02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all watched them on The _______________ Show.

03. "Get your kicks, ___________________."

04. "The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed___________________."

05. "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ________________."

06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we "danced" under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the "_____________."

07. "N_E_S_T_L_E_S", Nestle's makes the very best....... _______________."

08. Satchmo was America 's "Ambassador of Goodwill." Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was _________________.

09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _______________.

10. Red Skelton's hobo character was named __________________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, "Good Night, and "________ ________".

11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their______________.

12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW . What other names did it go by? ____________ & _______________.

13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, "the day the music died."This was a tribute to ___________________.

14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called ___________________.

15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the ________________. !
 

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

ANSWERS:

01. The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.
02. The Ed Sullivan Show
03. On Route 66
04. To protect the innocent.
05. The Lion Sleeps Tonight
06. The limbo
07. Chocolate
08. Louis Armstrong
09. The Timex watch
10. Freddy, The Freeloader, and "Good Night, and may God Bless."
11. Draft cards (Bras were also burned.)
12. Beetle or Bug
13. Buddy Holly
14. Sputnik
15. Hula-hoop

****************************************************

In a Seattle Washington college classroom, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States. It was pretty simple - the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.  However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. The class was taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating, 'What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?'   Yep, these are the 18 year olds that just voted for the President of the United States.

************************************

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.  When he returned, he told God, 'Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.   God thought for a moment and said, 'Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.    So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time.   When the angel returned he went to God and said, 'Yes, it's true.   The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good.   God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because he wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going. Do you know what the e-mail said?

Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn't get one either.

**********************************

Women should Not take men shopping against their will.  After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.  Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.  Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse.  Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:
 

Dear Mrs. (Insert name here),
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban BOTH of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. (Your name here again) are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
 

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2 .July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away!'
4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
7. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
9. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
10. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
11. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
12. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
13. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
14. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
 

 

 

 

 

Hit Counter